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This is the time of year for horror movie recommendations Which, to be fair, is probably an awesome way to pass the time if you happen to be Buffalo Bill from The Silence Of The Lambs in his teenage years. We all knew this was coming, so might as well get it out of the way, right? It's not like you're likely to see the fake blood while you're, uh, operating the machinery. For the brave griever without undue necrophiliac leanings, the package offers a tastefully constructed memory box, complete with a gold-plated key.

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All readers who are into dudes, imagine with me.

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The product page tells me that this thing is "for advanced users" and is "able to create unparalleled orgasms" by running a current deep within a dong, never once specifying precisely whose orgasms we're talking about here. Guys, I'm all for fantasies. The tongue is a pretty damn delicate sex instrument even without a damn clown-colored joy buzzer attached to it. Here he is on Facebook and Twitter. Body Candy The Internet tells me that this is called "Punisher," although exactly who it is meant to punish is unclear. They're going to go and buy a whole bunch of dildo urns in which to store the remains of their victims forever, and If you're reading this, then you have access to the Internet.

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